how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
