So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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