yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Can you bring me the toilet please
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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