You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
