so that wasnt chicken after all
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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