through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
