i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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