never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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