Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
