I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
