those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
