Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
