you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
