Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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