i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
