sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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