I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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