So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
