i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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