I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
