I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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