I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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