i was born a porn star she said
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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