I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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