did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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