And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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