Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I need a hoe opinion
go on
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
