I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
