Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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