and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
