You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
