Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
