ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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