Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize