are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
