I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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