Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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