so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize