she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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