pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize