Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
