u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it's like iHOP with fire
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
