Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
