Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
