VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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