so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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