GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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