No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
