i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
