Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
