He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
