I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
