i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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