We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
