Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
