i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
