i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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