I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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