I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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