"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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