Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
